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What do Younger Women Want from Older Men?

younger women older men relationshipsMany women are attracted to men who are much older than them. There is nothing new or strange about it. If you happen to be one such lucky man, you have probably stopped to wonder what she wants from you. Is it love? Is it sex? Or is she in it just for my money? There is “no one size fits all” answer to this question because different women want different things.

What a lot of women, both young and old, want in a relationship is stability. This is one department in which older men really take the cake. They are done with playing around and want nothing more than a stable relationship. Young women who have been in one or more failed relationships with men of their own age group are often disillusioned with relationships. So, many younger women looking for older men want stability in their life.

Financial security is another important thing women want from their men. And why should they not? Life is uncertain at the best of times. A nice house to live in, a shiny car to go driving, a good income to put food on the table and buy pretty clothes, and a fat bank balance to ward off bad days – these are the things that make life easier and more certain. There is nothing wrong for a woman wanting financial security.

A father plays an important role in girl’s life. He is her provider, her mentor and her pillar of strength. As she grows up, she will have fond memories of her father showering her with love and affection. Women who adore their father, or lost their father at a young age, or have never had one are often subconsciously looking for a father figure. They automatically gravitate towards older men who have some of the qualities of her real or imaginary father.

While talking on the subject, one mustn’t forget love. Though most people look at older men younger women relationships with a certain amount of skepticism, love does play a big role in the relationship. There are countless examples of couples with a huge age gap who are deeply and madly in love with each other.

Last but not least, there is something very important that women want from their partner and that is the ability to make them laugh.

“We are best mates. He makes me laugh every day. I almost feel like I never had a proper boyfriend before.” This is the beautiful supermodel Rosie Huntington-Whitley (of Transformers: Dark of the Moon fame) talking about her film star husband Jason Statham, who is known for his tough guy image in films like The Transporters and Furious 7. They have an age difference of 20 years between them.

Huntington-Whitely is not the only woman who is attracted to older men for their ability to make her laugh. Older men have more life experiences and more stories and anecdotes to tell. They are also more confident. Many of them can really make women laugh. Do you happen to be one such man by any chance?

Are Older Men Better Lovers than Younger Men?

younger girls looking for older menOlder men are generally thought to be good lovers. Quite often, their maturity and experience are cited as the reason for this assumption. Buy how much truth is there in it? As a young woman interested in age gap dating, do you think they are better lovers than younger men? Let’s examine the facts and get to know the truth.

Older men are driven by the need to love and be loved in return

Older men looking to date younger women are often driven by an intense need to love and be loved in return. Because of this, they give love more generously and expect to be loved in the same way. But they will love you just as much even if they know that you will not love them the same way. They will exhibit their love by showering the woman they love with voluminous words of affection, beautiful compliments and expensive gifts.

In contrast, young men are often more selfish in their love. Because they are not so much driven by the need to be loved, they are not so generous with their love either. This is not to say that younger men do not love intensely. They do, but they want you to love them more.

Older men spend money on their younger lovers more generously

You may think that older men are frugal with their money and you will be right in thinking so. But when it comes to pleasing the woman they love, they also tend to spend money more generously. They will not hesitate to buy expensive jewelries, clothes and other gifts for you. Many older men have been known to gift their ladylove with expensive cars and apartments. But for that to happen, you have to first win their trust, which takes some hard work.

However, girls looking for older men should not be seen to be demanding. If you start asking for expensive gifts, they might start questioning your motive. After all, they have learned more from life’s experiences that you have. When a man gives a woman gifts, it’s an expression of his love. But when he is forced to or tricked into giving gifts, then he will not be happy and that may lead to the premature ending of the relationship.

Older men are more aware of their mortality

As people get older, they become more aware of their own mortality. They know that death may come sooner than expected and that with each passing year, they have one less year to live. As a result, they become more careful, less reckless, and more responsible. All of this translates into a more loving person. So an older man will love you more and he will love you more passionately.

A man in the twilight of his life loves his much younger lover like there is no tomorrow. But even men who are no so old love their much younger lovers with a passion rarely exhibited by younger men, because they know the true value of a good and loving woman in their life. They know that they do will not have many more chances. These are the reasons older men are better lovers than younger men.

 

 

Potential Problems Involving Older Men Who Seek Younger Women

One of the principle dangers for younger women looking for older men is the potential predatory male. The fact remains, even as the phenomenon of couples with large age differences becomes more common, that there are older men who prey on younger women for sexual gratification and for their own ego issues. This problem stems from many things but one researcher isolates the issue of power dominance in romantic and intimate relationships.

Older men who seek younger womenDr. Athena Stalk describes what she calls “eroticized dominance” in relationships (Psychcentral). In these cases, one partner, and it is usually the male partner, exerts tremendous dominance over the other in forms that range from sexual victimization to pathological control over the other partner’s life. In extreme cases this stems from a narcissistic disorder in which an individual feels no empathy toward others. These relationships are damaging to everyone concerned and can even be lethal. These are the most extreme cases and younger women who may be specifically looking for older men should be aware of these kinds of issues. They are definitely a minority, but they are real.

Some even argue that men who seek younger women are largely driven by the forms of eroticized dominance described above. However, another study tempers this belief at least to some degree with the theory that men who seek younger women as romantic partners are driven more by a biological drive in which men naturally seek intimate partners who are at the reproductive peek, that there is an “innate biological desire men hold for women in their most fertile years” (Catiglia). This theory would have us believe that older men who are specifically interested in younger women are simply following a biological drive that exceeds any cultural and social norms with respect to age norms and relationships. While the issue of dominance over women remains a real problem, given this study this dominance is clearly revealed to be a psychological problem and not an inevitable problem that drives men to choose younger women as partners.

The issue of nature versus nurture is an old one and ultimately culture seems to be the operative force when it comes to most if not all of human behavior. Another study from Finland seems to complicate any all-encompassing theory that would account for why some men are primarily interested in younger women. These researchers found that while the obvious tendency for men to prefer younger women as the men age was indeed prevalent, many men actually preferred to stay within their own age group when choosing sexual and romantic partners. They basically found that “as he grows older, he will be more interested in younger women. But not exclusively. He will also be interested in women his own age or older” (Science Nordic). More than anything, this study just complicates the issue enough to suggest that any simple theory as to why some older men prefer younger women is just not going to account for the complexity of real human behavior. The bottom line here is that people do what they do for many reasons; dominance and power relations and biological drives are just a few of the myriad factors that drive human behavior.

A quick search of age gap dating sites can reveal some disturbing features. There are in fact dating sites geared toward predatory men. But overall, these remain a small part of the picture and any discerning man can screen through these things. Most older men, it would seem from the research, are motivated to be with younger women simply because they want love and companionship and they find this more readily in younger women than in women their own age.

Castiglia, Carolyn. “Older Men, Younger Women: Gross, Natural, Something In-between.”

Babble. 2014.

Jacobsen, Siw Ellen. “Older Men are not just Attracted to Young Women.” Science Nordic. Feb.

2017

Stalk, Athena. “Eroticized Dominance: Emotional Grooming, Predatory Behaviors as Natural Norms?” PsychCentral. 2017.

Intimacy and Sex in Relationships between Older Men and Younger Women

younger women As more young women enter into relationships with older men we can expect certain issues to inevitably arise. Some of the obvious things such as public perceptions of the relationship, addressing the age difference with family members, and simple things like varying life experiences—all these things can be dealt with freely. The issue of sex and intimacy are obviously more sensitive and many women and men may not be comfortable discussing this openly even with their potential partners.

Obviously older men are not the same animals they were when they were in their twenties. The male libido decreases as men age and this may be a real concern for younger women dating older men. An article in SelfGrowth.com points out that older men simply may not have the stamina of younger men. This is a fact that both partners will need to understand. However, older men generally more than compensate for this lack of stamina. Many younger women find that  “(o)lder men usually have more control over the physical and mental state of their being and a much greater knowledge of what elicits pleasure for a woman” (Chuba). This is to say that older men tend to be far more in control of themselves physically, using self-control and restraint in order to please their partners, and these men also have had more experience and therefore have more knowledge of what women want in bed. Simply put, older men know what they are doing far more than their younger counterparts.

What is more, many younger women complain that they require more foreplay form a partner than they typically get from men around their own age. Since older men also require more time to become aroused this results in a mutually pleasurable sexual relationships. Women are aroused and satisfied by the amount of time older men tend to take with them, and older men are equally gratified by the patience the relation requires. This becomes a win-win situation for both partners.

If these relationships are to last, the issues that attend the elder of the partners are obviously going to become more pronounced. As men age problems such as erectile dysfunction are going to come about for some of these couples. This is just a biological fact. As the male body ages, the functions of youthful vitality diminish. But a simple search on a site like WebMD offers all kinds of solutions for these issues. Of course, there is no substitute for consulting a physician on these matters, but we do live in an age that offers a number of effective medical treatments for erectile dysfunction (WebMD). The authors on WebMD go on to point out that “age” itself is a more complex idea than it once was. As medical science has increased longevity in general, sexual viability has also increased. In addition to the traditional medical treatments for sexual issues for older men, there are natural treatments that many men have found effective. Horny Goat Weed is one such herbal treatment for E.D. (WebMD). Again, always consult a medical doctor before any self-diagnosis or treatment.

The over picture for older men younger women relationships is positive. These relationships are becoming increasingly common and, thanks to modern medical science, the sexual and intimate dimension to these relationships remains positive. Older men are more patient and responsive to their partners than younger men. They have more experience and therefore more knowledge of what women want sexually. And any physical issues that may come along with aging in these men can largely be treated.

Chuba, Valerie. SelfGrowth.com.

A Scholarly View of Older Men Younger Women Relationships

From an academic stand point, there is surprisingly little research on the topic of younger women seeking older men. Research in fields such as sociology and psychology, the areas of study most likely to take on such a topic, seem to largely ignore the issue altogether. A look through the scholarly literature reveals a number of studies that explore issues and problems that attend relationships between older women and younger men. The so-called “cougar” phenomenon is obviously under the microscope, as it were. But younger women seeking older men wolder men younger women relationshipsould appear to be something of a non-issue in the world of scholarship and research.

However, one prominent study in The Journal of Family Issues reveals a number of issues on the topic of relationships between younger women and older men. After studying four different groups of partners they discovered that there was a tendency for many of these relationships to become male dominated. This is to say that the roles the partners tended to assume were extremely traditional and old-fashioned. The older men became the dominant partner in the relationship, exerting greater authority and power in most matters that affected the two partners. Younger women tended to take on more passive roles in the relationship.

However, this seemingly predictable result was complicated immediately by the fact that in nearly as many partners, the relationship became far more egalitarian, with equal sharing of all roles whether or not these roles were traditionally male or traditionally female. They found ample evidence to demonstrate that in these relationships “(a) husbands’ older age does not automatically translate into male dominance and rigid gender arrangements” (Pyke and Adams). While there were expectations that older men would obviously take on the strict gender roles that defined the time-period they grew up in, many of the men in this study defied that expectation.

Still further, this same study showed that over time, “men can experience a shift toward more marital sharing and androgyny upon remarriage to a younger woman” (Ibid). More than simply giving way on their traditional masculine roles in these relationships, older men, particularly older divorced men, tended to be more fluid in their participation in their relationships with younger women. This could be what is behind the appeal for younger women. These younger women, this study may imply, are finding greater satisfaction in relationships with older men because these men tend to be more willing to be fluid with their roles in long-term relationships.

Two curious things emerge from this: first, the pre-conceived notion that men who are much older than their female partners become dominant or even domineering is simply not true. The research cited here suggests the opposite is true and that older men are open to and will to become far more fluid in their roles as partners with younger women. Second, there needs to be more research on this topic in general. Older men younger women relationships seem to be taken as given for researchers. The good news for the short term is that relationships between younger women and older men seem to benefit younger women more often than not. Certainly, there will be men who demand traditional gender roles in relationships and marriages, but this crosses ages and age differences. Men who feel they need to occupy a traditional role of dominance over their partners are not necessarily a function of specific age groups.

Perceptions and stereotypes about young women older men dating

Entering into a relationship that involves a noticeable age difference will trigger judgements from others that are part and parcel to a host of stereotypes regarding both men and women. This is unfortunate but it is a fact that both parties will need to take into consideration. In an article published by The Guardian, the stereotypes of the “gold-digging” younger woman and the predatory older man still attach themselves to these types of relationships (McKie). People tend to rush to the assumptions that any older man who is romantically involved with a younger woman is motivated primarily out of an ego-driven need to rekindle his own lost youth through a charged “fling” with a young and attractive woman. As younger women enter into these relationships, they are frequently accused of being driven by the desire for potential material gain that they may find in a man who is older and more financially independent.

These stereotypes stem almost exclusively from the discomfort people feel toward any relationship that does not fit into the comfortable and familiar models that are already culturally accepted. On the one hand, it is only natural that others will attempt to make sense of something which is unknown to them by using ready-made models for understanding things. Older men and younger women entering into romantic and loving relationships can expect to run into these assumptions. On the other hand, few of us in any relationship, traditional or otherwise, actually fit the presumed image we are fed from television and movies. We no longer live in a time when it can be expected that a man at any age necessarily offers a woman a list of financial and material gifts which would seduce her into a relationship she would not otherwise choose.

It is also useful to point out that these stereotypical assumptions are insulting to both women and men. To presume that a younger woman is in a relationship with an older man primarily because she gets some kind of material benefit is insulting to her as a woman and as a human being. This stereotype presumes that she is motivated primarily by greed and, what is more, that she has no real worth beyond the young body she offers not only to an older man, but to any man. By the same token, these stereotypes also impugn older men even as they endow these men with a power they do not necessarily possess.

A tacit assumption that comes with the belief that older men are in relationships with younger women for reasons of ego and sexual gratification is the implication that these men have some kind of magical power over younger women, that the seduction of one young woman is really just evidence of a long line of seductions. In fact, this endows these men with a power over women that they do not have and it implies that these women are weak and easily overwhelmed by a masculine charm that is really just the stuff of bad movies.

It is helpful for new couples to remind those who are close to them that they are involved for the same reasons anyone else is romantically involved. Couples who enter into these relationships should be aware of how they might be perceived by others, but they do not have to be driven by these perceptions. As with any new relationship, the test is in how well the couple stands together. Certainly, sensitivity to family members and others who are close needs to be respected, but any older man/younger woman couple can successfully negotiate these assumptions and stereotypes. Being aware that the stereotypes exist and that they will likely be subject to the assumptions that come with them should give couples an increased awareness of how to negotiate the problems of how they may be perceived by others.

Work Cited

McKie, Robin. “At Last We Know why Girls Fall for Older Men.” 1 March, 2003.

Famous Couples with Wide Age Gaps

When it comes to famous couples with wide age differences, the ones that make regular headlines are just the tip of the iceberg. There are actually way more celebrity couples that are in older men younger women relationships than you might think there are. Here are some of the most famous ones.

  • Donald and Melania Trump

Currently, the title of the most famous couple with a huge age difference goes to Donald and Melania Trump. As everyone knows, the 45th president of the United States is 25 years older than his beautiful first lady. When they got married in 2005, he was 58 and she was 34.

  • George and Amal Clooney

Probably the most famous Hollywood couple today, George and Amal Clooney were born not just in different continents, but also 16 years apart. When they got married in 2014 after dating for less than a year, he was 52 and she was 36. Despite their hectic schedules, their marriage has been going strong for the last three years and they are currently expecting twins.

  • Beyonce and Jay Z

Music diva Beyonce, recently voted the most beautiful woman in the world in a poll run by the website Buzznet, is 12 years younger than her equally famous husband Jay Z, who is a famous rapper and successful businessman in his own right. When they got married in 2008, she was 26 and he was 38.

  • Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves

Matthew McConaughey, the star of hit romantic comedies like “The Wedding Planner” and “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” and critically acclaimed films like “Interstellar” and “Dallas Buyers Club”, is 13 years older than Camila Alves, the beautiful Brazilian model and actress he married in 2012. He is 47 and she is 34.

  • Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whitley

Action star Jason Statham doesn’t just know how to kick ass, it seems he also has a way with beautiful women. He is a 20 years older than the beautiful model and actress Rosie Huntington-Whitley, of “Transformers 3” and “Mad Max: Fury Road” fame, who he has been dating since 2010.  He is 49 and she is 29.

  • Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively

Ryan Reynolds, the handsome Canadian actor who has acted in a series of hit films like “The Proposal”, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” and “Deadpool”, for which he won a Golden Globe Award nomination, is 11 years older than his television actress wife Blake Lively, who he married in 2012. He is 40 and she is 29.

  • Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart

Seventy-four years old Harrison Ford met and fell in love with Calista Flockhart when he was 60. She was a successful television actress of 38 at the time. They were married in 2010 and have been happily together ever since.

Clearly, these celebrities did not give a damn about their age difference when love came knocking on their door. You can also find your own soul mate if you are willing to look beyond age and the best place to look for one is an age difference dating site where you can find lots of older men looking for young women and vice versa.

What Can We Learn from Catherine Zeta-Jones about Younger Women Dating Older Men?

When talking about younger women looking for older men, one prominent name comes to mind: the gorgeous Catherine Zeta-Jones. Once one of the top Hollywood stars with blockbuster movies like “Entrapment” and “America’s Sweethearts”, she is still considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. She broke a lot of young men’s hearts when she married the much older Michael Douglas at the height of her career.

The story of Catherine Zeta-Jones reads like a fairy tale. Born in Wales (UK) in 1969, she had aspirations to become an actress from an early age. Her big break came in 1991 with the British television series “The Darling Buds of May”, which made her a household name in the UK. After acting in a few British and Hollywood movies, she caught the eyes of Steven Spielberg, who recommended her for the role of the leading lady in “The Mask of Zorro” opposite Antonio Banderas. She has never had to look back since then.

With her killer looks and global stardom, she could have got any man she wanted. But she chose Michael Douglas, a man 25 years her senior. When the couple first met in August 1998, she was 29 with a skyrocketing movie career and he was 54 with his best days behind him. The attraction was instant and mutual. They initially dated secretly because Douglas was still married. In less than two years, they were married and remain happily married to this day.

Why did Catherine Zeta-Jones, who had the world at her feet, choose to date the much older Michael Douglas and what can we learn from her? She was certainly no gold digger. If she was, then their marriage wouldn’t have lasted so long. Not in the fickle and glittering world of Hollywood anyway. To be married for 18 years in Hollywood, and that with such a huge age difference, is no mean feat.

The first thing we can learn from her is that age difference is no barrier to true and lasting love. To quote the beautiful actress herself, “I do think I’m lucky I met Michael. Not just Michael Douglas the actor and producer with two Oscars on the shelf, but Michael Douglas, the love of my life. I really do think it was meant to happen.” Of course, they have their share of bad days. He has battled with throat cancer and she is suffering from bipolar disorder. But their love for each other has held them together.

Another thing younger women seeking older men can learn is that there is no shame in dating older men. Here’s another quote from the gorgeous lady: “Yes, I was in love with my husband at first sight and still am. We have the most solid relationship.” She was never afraid to admit her relationship with him. She was never afraid of being ridiculed. If you truly love a man or think that you can love him, then it doesn’t matter what anyone says.

So if you are a young woman interested in dating an older man, then don’t let your inhibitions hold you back. He may be many years older than you and he may be way past his prime, but he may be the one true love of your life, just like Michael Douglas is to Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Do your families have a problem with older men younger women relationships?

older men younger womenFor many older men younger women relationships, one of the major obstacles to ensuring that it works and both members can be truly happy comes from outside influence – families, mainly. They tend to find it quite hard to appreciate that you might both find happiness in this manner, and it can therefore begin to cause a lot of friction within the family. Whether it’s the family of the older men looking for younger women worried he’ll be taken advantage of, or the other way around, many people can find it very hard to appreciate and accept this.

For this reason, so many people can really become quite uncomfortable with the idea of letting their families know about their older men younger women relationships. For one, they can’t be bothered with the excessive judgment and the constant need to make them feel as if they are children again. When we get beyond our early 20s, it becomes harder to really care what family thinks of the decisions we make; we feel like responsible and active adults, and should not need to be given permission by anyone to be with who we want.

However, many families can have a problem in just standing by and watching this take place. What can you do to try and soothe and familial issues that crop up when trying to make a relationship with an older man or a younger woman work out?

Sit Down Together. The best way to solve the problem is to sit down as a group and work it out. Bring your partner, and have it out with everyone. Make sure that everyone gets a full minute to make their points, with the chance for you both to give an honest and friendly retort. This works really well if you want to make sure that people can begin to see what you see in your partner.

Explain the Reality. Many families still just see the dirty old man/gold digging woman trope and go for that. However, if you can show them that this is nothing of the sort, you should find it a bit easier to enjoy your relationship in peace. Even if that is what you are both looking for, so what? Make it clear to your families that, even if that is the case, both party members are more than happy with the arrangement.

Showcase your Happiness. Want to shut everyone up about their doubts? Then let them see you both together without the set piece family meeting. Show them a video of you both on a night out or something similar; basically, show them both of you having fun away from having to sit with family and make it feel forced.

By doing this, you go a very long way to making sure you are left with older men younger women relationships that can be fairly and accurately balanced and judged, free from arguments with family.

Some fascinating dating fact young women will surely want to know

Even if relationships between younger women and older men continue to be stigmatized by the society and there are some downsides to making such choices, they still happen quite often. The increasing number of older men younger women dating sites are proof that this phenomenon is more spread than some of us would like to admit. Younger women are attrayounger women looking for older men dating sitescted by older men and that is a fact we cannot deny and which is stated by women themselves. The high number of users on younger women looking for older men dating sites shows that there is a large interest in such relationships from both sides. Why young women end up making such choices? Here are some facts you may consider very interesting and which may fit your situation.

  • Older men are more established and can give you the feeling of security

Older men had sufficient time, until meeting you, to put their lives in order. Their career may be great and so is their financial status. They have a house, car, and everything they need for a comfortable life. A young man, on the other hand, can be quite far from all these, so being in such a relationship can be quite challenging for both of you.

  • Communication is much better

Young women notice that when they are in the company of an older man, they are listened and they can actually have interesting and mature conversations. This is very surprising considering that young men usually don’t have the patience and will to communicate and listen to their partners, which is often infuriating for women.

  • You will be in the company of a good looking man

Mature men are always concerned about their looks, so no matter where they go, they will be careful to look sharp, even if their apparel is a casual one. It actually feels good to date a man that looks and smells great, and acts like a gentleman. Most likely you will want to repeat the experience.

  • You will find out that opposites attract

Yes, there is an age gap between the two of you, but this means a great opportunity to learn new things. And you will have plenty to learn from a mature man. Regardless if things will evolve or not into a relationship, just simply being in his company can be a great learning experience.

  • Having a chivalrous date is something incredible

Older men know how to behave regardless of situation, so don’t be surprised when will open doors for you and even pull the chair so you can sit first. These are only two of the things you may experience with an older man as a date, which will definitely blow your mind and leave you speechless. Most women crave for such gestures and it feels so good to actually be able to experience them as well.

  • He will make you feel young and gorgeous

This is something hard to explain, but being in the company of a mature man will actually make you feel much younger and more beautiful. Perhaps it is because of how he treats you, speaks to you, or looks as you. Older men do know how to make a woman feel special.