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Does society accept an older man dating a much younger woman?

One of the main reasons a lot of older men baulk at the idea of dating a younger woman is because of the society. They are afraid that the society will not accept their relationship. But is their fear justified? Are we still in an age when older men younger women relationships were frowned upon?  Or, more correctly, was there any time in history when it was not acceptable for an older man to be in a relationship with a younger woman?older men dating younger women

To find the answer, let’s go to back 2,000 years to the times of the Roman Empire. History tells us that Julius Caesar gave his young daughter Julia in marriage to his friend Pompey. When they married, Julia was barely 17 while Pompey was 47. It is said that the couple was deeply in love and remained so until Julia died during child birth. There is no record of the Roman society of the time objecting to their marriage.

Later, Caesar himself fell in love with the much younger Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, and was openly in a relationship with her until he was assassinated. His assassination had nothing to do with his relationship with Cleopatra. They even had a son. Caesar 31 years older than Cleopatra. While there was much objection to their relationship, it was because of political reasons and not because of their age difference.

Throughout the Medieval Age, it was an accepted practice among the royalty as well as common people to marry off their daughters to much older men. Such a union ensured that the young women were well taken care of and that they got to live in relative comfort. While the union did not always have a happy ending, any failure was attributed to other things rather than the difference in their age.

Now to return back to modern times, older men younger women relationships are more common than you may think. These days, wherever you go, it’s not uncommon to see couples with a noticeable age gap and the best thing is that you won’t find anyone frowning at them. The fact the most people do not even bat an eyelash when they see an older man with a much younger woman proves that the modern society doesn’t object to such relationships.

If you still have doubts, then you can look at celebrity couples for inspiration. Currently, the most famous couple that comes to mind are the movie star George Clooney and his beautiful lawyer wife Amal Clooney. There is a 17 years’ age gap between them. Here are a few other examples. Film actress Jennifer Lawrence, 27, is dating film director Darren Aronofsky, who is 22 years older than her. Rolling Stones Mick Jagger, 74, is dating film producer Noor Alfallah, who is 52 years younger than him.

Now the reason Julius Caesar was mentioned earlier in this article is that this world belongs to the bold and ambitious. The go-getter always gets the girl, regardless of the age gap between him and the girl. He is not afraid of the society’s opinion. But if you sit there worrying about what other people will say, then you will never get your woman. Stop living in your fantasy world. Go out there and get your younger woman.

What do Younger Women Want from Older Men?

younger women older men relationshipsMany women are attracted to men who are much older than them. There is nothing new or strange about it. If you happen to be one such lucky man, you have probably stopped to wonder what she wants from you. Is it love? Is it sex? Or is she in it just for my money? There is “no one size fits all” answer to this question because different women want different things.

What a lot of women, both young and old, want in a relationship is stability. This is one department in which older men really take the cake. They are done with playing around and want nothing more than a stable relationship. Young women who have been in one or more failed relationships with men of their own age group are often disillusioned with relationships. So, many younger women looking for older men want stability in their life.

Financial security is another important thing women want from their men. And why should they not? Life is uncertain at the best of times. A nice house to live in, a shiny car to go driving, a good income to put food on the table and buy pretty clothes, and a fat bank balance to ward off bad days – these are the things that make life easier and more certain. There is nothing wrong for a woman wanting financial security.

A father plays an important role in girl’s life. He is her provider, her mentor and her pillar of strength. As she grows up, she will have fond memories of her father showering her with love and affection. Women who adore their father, or lost their father at a young age, or have never had one are often subconsciously looking for a father figure. They automatically gravitate towards older men who have some of the qualities of her real or imaginary father.

While talking on the subject, one mustn’t forget love. Though most people look at older men younger women relationships with a certain amount of skepticism, love does play a big role in the relationship. There are countless examples of couples with a huge age gap who are deeply and madly in love with each other.

Last but not least, there is something very important that women want from their partner and that is the ability to make them laugh.

“We are best mates. He makes me laugh every day. I almost feel like I never had a proper boyfriend before.” This is the beautiful supermodel Rosie Huntington-Whitley (of Transformers: Dark of the Moon fame) talking about her film star husband Jason Statham, who is known for his tough guy image in films like The Transporters and Furious 7. They have an age difference of 20 years between them.

Huntington-Whitely is not the only woman who is attracted to older men for their ability to make her laugh. Older men have more life experiences and more stories and anecdotes to tell. They are also more confident. Many of them can really make women laugh. Do you happen to be one such man by any chance?

A Scholarly View of Older Men Younger Women Relationships

From an academic stand point, there is surprisingly little research on the topic of younger women seeking older men. Research in fields such as sociology and psychology, the areas of study most likely to take on such a topic, seem to largely ignore the issue altogether. A look through the scholarly literature reveals a number of studies that explore issues and problems that attend relationships between older women and younger men. The so-called “cougar” phenomenon is obviously under the microscope, as it were. But younger women seeking older men wolder men younger women relationshipsould appear to be something of a non-issue in the world of scholarship and research.

However, one prominent study in The Journal of Family Issues reveals a number of issues on the topic of relationships between younger women and older men. After studying four different groups of partners they discovered that there was a tendency for many of these relationships to become male dominated. This is to say that the roles the partners tended to assume were extremely traditional and old-fashioned. The older men became the dominant partner in the relationship, exerting greater authority and power in most matters that affected the two partners. Younger women tended to take on more passive roles in the relationship.

However, this seemingly predictable result was complicated immediately by the fact that in nearly as many partners, the relationship became far more egalitarian, with equal sharing of all roles whether or not these roles were traditionally male or traditionally female. They found ample evidence to demonstrate that in these relationships “(a) husbands’ older age does not automatically translate into male dominance and rigid gender arrangements” (Pyke and Adams). While there were expectations that older men would obviously take on the strict gender roles that defined the time-period they grew up in, many of the men in this study defied that expectation.

Still further, this same study showed that over time, “men can experience a shift toward more marital sharing and androgyny upon remarriage to a younger woman” (Ibid). More than simply giving way on their traditional masculine roles in these relationships, older men, particularly older divorced men, tended to be more fluid in their participation in their relationships with younger women. This could be what is behind the appeal for younger women. These younger women, this study may imply, are finding greater satisfaction in relationships with older men because these men tend to be more willing to be fluid with their roles in long-term relationships.

Two curious things emerge from this: first, the pre-conceived notion that men who are much older than their female partners become dominant or even domineering is simply not true. The research cited here suggests the opposite is true and that older men are open to and will to become far more fluid in their roles as partners with younger women. Second, there needs to be more research on this topic in general. Older men younger women relationships seem to be taken as given for researchers. The good news for the short term is that relationships between younger women and older men seem to benefit younger women more often than not. Certainly, there will be men who demand traditional gender roles in relationships and marriages, but this crosses ages and age differences. Men who feel they need to occupy a traditional role of dominance over their partners are not necessarily a function of specific age groups.

Do your families have a problem with older men younger women relationships?

older men younger womenFor many older men younger women relationships, one of the major obstacles to ensuring that it works and both members can be truly happy comes from outside influence – families, mainly. They tend to find it quite hard to appreciate that you might both find happiness in this manner, and it can therefore begin to cause a lot of friction within the family. Whether it’s the family of the older men looking for younger women worried he’ll be taken advantage of, or the other way around, many people can find it very hard to appreciate and accept this.

For this reason, so many people can really become quite uncomfortable with the idea of letting their families know about their older men younger women relationships. For one, they can’t be bothered with the excessive judgment and the constant need to make them feel as if they are children again. When we get beyond our early 20s, it becomes harder to really care what family thinks of the decisions we make; we feel like responsible and active adults, and should not need to be given permission by anyone to be with who we want.

However, many families can have a problem in just standing by and watching this take place. What can you do to try and soothe and familial issues that crop up when trying to make a relationship with an older man or a younger woman work out?

Sit Down Together. The best way to solve the problem is to sit down as a group and work it out. Bring your partner, and have it out with everyone. Make sure that everyone gets a full minute to make their points, with the chance for you both to give an honest and friendly retort. This works really well if you want to make sure that people can begin to see what you see in your partner.

Explain the Reality. Many families still just see the dirty old man/gold digging woman trope and go for that. However, if you can show them that this is nothing of the sort, you should find it a bit easier to enjoy your relationship in peace. Even if that is what you are both looking for, so what? Make it clear to your families that, even if that is the case, both party members are more than happy with the arrangement.

Showcase your Happiness. Want to shut everyone up about their doubts? Then let them see you both together without the set piece family meeting. Show them a video of you both on a night out or something similar; basically, show them both of you having fun away from having to sit with family and make it feel forced.

By doing this, you go a very long way to making sure you are left with older men younger women relationships that can be fairly and accurately balanced and judged, free from arguments with family.

Practical rules to make older men younger women relationships work

We live in an age where almost nothing is unusual. In the past, many people were shocked when they heard stories about older men younger women relationships and they even thought that that was wrong. However, many successful stories about this type of relationship have encouraged many older men to date and establish relationships with younger women.

Older Men Younger Women RelationshipsOlder man younger woman relationship is actually similar to ordinary relationship, so it is not unusual for these couples to experience certain problems or have some dilemmas in the beginning or even when the relationship is fully developed. This is the reason why many couples like this ask themselves what they can do to make their relationships work. The following is a short list of practical rules that will help any older man younger woman relationship work.

Express your affection

This is one of the basic rules that will help any relationship. Young women need to feel loved. On the other hand, older men sometimes have problems expressing their affection. So, it is up to the man in this relationship to unleash his love and actively express his feelings whenever he can. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the woman should remain passive. Although you may have found each other later in your life, this doesn’t mean that it is too late to pick a specific movie, phrase or song that will be just yours. It also won’t hurt to do something out of the ordinary from time to time. This is the only way to stay romantic and romance is crucial for the success of this type of relationships. Snuggle, cuddle, hug, kiss and hold hands whenever you can. Finally, don’t be disappointed if these things are not expressed so frequently in your long relationship because this only means that the love you share has matured.

Build trust

It is sometimes very difficult for older men to trust younger women and vice versa. However, trust is another basic element of a successful relationship. Loyalty and respect are some of the things that both partners should learn. One simple way to build trust is to spend more time together. Of course, while you are together you must actually be present there with your mind too. In this way you will learn more about each other. Don’t forget that every person, especially older men, need to spend some time alone. They usually have some hobbies which make them relax and think about their life. You should respect that. In the end, another great way to build trust is to make important decisions together. Consult your partner for your next step no matter if it affects just you or both of you.

Communication

Although older men and younger women usually have different interests, this doesn’t mean that they should not talk frequently. According to many experts, partners, regardless of the age gap between them should communicate about everything and anything. So, don’t be afraid to share some basic things, ask questions support goals and celebrate achievements together.